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Who Will Play Nicole Kidman's Wife in "The Danish Girl"?

In an interview with Harper's Bazaar, Gwyneth Paltrow reveals that she's backed out of playing Nicole Kidman's wife in "The Danish Girl," the fictionalized (though somewhat biographical)  film about Lili Elbe née Einarstory (Kidman), the man who underwent the first sex-change operation, and his supportive wife. Paltrow originally agreed to the part in November, taking the place of Charlize Theron.

From Harper's:

Gwyneth has also significantly scaled back her film obligations. With daughter Apple, six, and son Moses, four, both in school, shuttling the pair around the globe has proven to be, well, exhausting. "Some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidneys. I'm so tired," she says with a sigh. She even pulled out of a movie with Nicole Kidman, The Danish Girl. With the shoot changing locales, Gwyneth found it too taxing for her little ones. Not to mention that her husband, Coldplay's Chris Martin, has an equally complex tour schedule. She does readily admit, however, "When you're having dinner with your kids and your husband and someone says something funny or you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness. ...

There's some speculation that Gwyneth's reasoning is just an excuse, however, as the film is having a tough time getting past the planning stages.

Looks like we'll all need patience at this point. These might help pass the time:

 

And The Award Goes To Sigourney Weaver For Her Role As Ass-Kisser

While promoting "Avatar" in Brazil last weekend, Sigourney Weaver took loyalty to a director to a whole new, not-so-great, and downright embarrassing level.

Weaver, one of the stars of "Avatar" and a woman best known for her role in the "Alien" franchise, bitch-slapped the Academy for awarding the Best Director Oscar to Kathryn Bigelow for "The Hurt Locker"  instead of to "Avatar" director and Bigelow's ex-husband James Cameron. Weaver said that Bigelow received the award because she's a woman.

"Jim didn't have breasts, and I think that was the reason," she told told Folha Online, a Brazilian news site. "He should have taken home that Oscar."

Weaver went on to say that the award for Best Picture should have gone to "Avatar." "In the past, 'Avatar' would have won because they [Oscar voters] loved to hand out awards to big productions, like 'Ben-Hur,'" she said. "Today it's fashionable to give the Oscar to a small movie that nobody saw."

Whether "Avatar" is a better film than "Hurt Locker" is something that will forever be debated by people who know films and by those who just enjoy watching them, but there's no debating that Weaver's choice of words in expressing her disapproval sucked. Bigelow's win made her the first woman to ever receive the Best Director Oscar. And instead of respecting that accomplishment, Weaver is acting as if the floor buckled, sending a 2x4 up her ... nose.

Whining is unbecoming, but it's especially unbecoming when one woman degrades another in the process. Weaver's sexualization of Bigelow's achievement is an effort to cheapen it. Shame on you, Sigourney Weaver. If you want to kiss James Cameron's ass, go right ahead. But don't do it in public anymore; you're stinking the place up.

"Peeps": An Easter Movie So Violent, Mel Gibson Would Be Proud

"From the producers of The Eggxorcist," and never coming to a theater near you:

Bethenny Frankel, "The Beautiful Reflection Of Her Love's Affection"

Bethenny Frankel, one of the Real Housewives of New York, was married last weekend to New York businessman Jason I'm-way-too-normal-to-be-on-this-show Hoppy.

Out of all Bravo's Housewives on both coasts, Bethenny is my favorite. I think she's by far the funniest of all the women and the most direct. Is she perfect? No. But to paraphrase fellow cast-member Kelly Bensimon, "She's up here, and everyone else is down there."

Oh, Kelly, you're so pretty and tan and crazy.

I'm happy for Bethenny, and I hope she starts her new life with her husband and baby by announcing that this season will be her last on the show. Go, Bethenny! Run! Run as fast as you can away from those crazy women with their bulging eyes and horrible taste in men and furnishings.

Anyway, I couldn't help but chuckle when I saw her sporting more of a bulge in her one-shade-shy-of-white wedding gown than I'd imagined she would. I thought, You go girl! Because nothing says "fuck the rules" to society quite like an attractive 'society girl' walking down the aisle pregnant.

Right, Fanny? Hit it:

Why I Wore Lipstick To Sleep With Danger And Woke Up Pregnant

Oh, Lifetime Network, I just love you! I love your movies, I love your over-the-top movie titles, and I love your "Women Rule Even When They're Crazy Or When Men Are Beating The Shit Out Of Them!" attitude.

There aren't enough hours in the day for me to post clips or trailers from every single Lifetime drama I've ever seen and loved (or loved to hate), so I've chosen only three, and they're all true stories: "A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story" (1992), "A Cry For Help: The Tracy Thurman Story" (1989), and "Prayers For Bobby" (2009).

"A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story" is my favorite Lifetime movie of all time. Meredith Baxter stars as Betty Broderick, the wife of a rich, high-powered attorney. Her life is fabulous until her husband decides to leave her for a younger women. Betty snaps and, as IMDB puts it, "begins a campaign of vandalism and verbal assault. Her rage consumes her and ultimately leads to a terrible and violent act." Yeah, that's putting it mildly.

Everybody's favorite "Facts Of Life" alum and tomboy Nancy McKeon stars in "A Cry For Help: The Tracy Thurman Story," a terrifying tale of a Connecticut woman who was married to a man who abused her and even slashed her throat in front of the cops. The cops are misogynistic morons who do as little as they can for her. Thurman then sues the city and the police department for failing to protect her.

"Prayers for Bobby" stars Sigourney Weaver as Mary Griffith, a devout Christian and member of the Presbyterian Church, who becomes a gay rights crusader. Griffith raises her children guided by strict, conservative teachings, but when her son Bobby confides to his older brother he may be gay, and she discovers his secret, life changes for the entire family. Unfortunately for Bobby, Griffith believes God can cure him of what she considers his 'sin.' What happens next? You'll need to watch the movie to find out.

Oh, and if you have a favorite Lifetime movie, share the plot and post a link to a clip below.
 

A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story (1992)

A Cry For Help: The Tracy Thurman Story (1989)

Prayers For Bobby:

Blow, Justin Bieber, Blow!

For those of you who believe that every time the name Justin Bieber appears on the Internet an angel gets chlamydia, feast your eyes on the video below of 'The Bieb' blow-drying his hair. And by all means pass it on.

Lesbians who look like Justin Bieber, a.k.a. LesBiebers, should pay special attention to his "on, off, shake, on" technique. And children should refrain from falling asleep after watching, or risk being replicated by emotionless pods.

Oh, one more thing: Don't answer the phone.

"This is the way we dry our hair, dry our hair, dry our hair. This is the way we dry our hair so early in the morning ... BWWAAAAAHHHH!"

Corey Haim's Gym Shorts, Jackets And Other Items For Sale On eBay

At the time of his death, Corey Haim was living with his mother, taking care of her while she battles cancer. Whatever money the actor once made is long gone, so his family has instructed a friend (a fellow cast member of Corey's from the 1985 movie of the week A Time to Live with Liza Minnelli) to sell his belongings on eBay to help with funeral costs. 

So sad, and so ripe for another movie of the week. Hmmm, I wonder what Justin Bieber's doing.

 

Oh, Kristen Stewart, Just Come Out Already; Joan Jett Would Approve!

Just saw the first preview for The Runaways on TV. Oh, Kristen Stewart, just come out already!

Sigh.

Take a look at the trailer.